Dating Wiki
While there are endless online dating categories, you can distinguish between three basic types of dating on the internet:
Matchmaking service (also: dating, marriage bureau)
Portals, which are dedicated to the search for a life partner, the love of your life and the ultimate harmonious relationship. The most well-known providers in this category are eHarmony, EliteSingles or Be2, whose members tend to be older and the membership fees rather high. In exchange, matchmaking services usually offer a detailed personality test and deliver individually tailored partner suggestions.
Sex dating (also: Casual dating)
On the other end of the spectrum, there are sites where you won’... (read more)
Formerly, a blind date was a date with a person who you had never seen before. Most often, common friends hooked up two seemingly fitting singles. Nowadays that doesn’t really happen anymore, because a person whom you’ve never seen before of course gets googled before a first date. Dates are usually arranged on the internet – without the help of friends – so you don’t really go onto your first date blind either, since you already know each other from the internet.
Depending on the nature of the dating site on which you met, you already know before the date how the other looks, where he/she lives, which hobbies and preferences he/she has…and can decide based on the information on the profile... (read more)
Contrary to a blind date, this term may not be as straight forward and warrants some explanation.
A casual date is a date, where casual is a euphemism for “sex without obligations”. As long as all parties have exactly that in mind, there is nothing wrong with it. Since reputable online companies have discovered the casual dating market, more and more young singles enjoy their freedom by specifically searching on the web for sex partners…quite casually of course.
Generally, there are two types of singles. There are those, who believe in love at first sight and expect it to just hit them some day out of nowhere. On the other hand, there are those who’ve done this crap long enough to know that even though love at first sight may exist, you’re better off not relying on it. The former can try their luck at online dating, flirt and chat sites, until the right one falls into their lap.
The latter would rather not leave an important matter like the search for a partner up to chance and are better off with a dating service with scientific matchmaking and targeted partner suggestions. There they are presented with a selection of singles that would match well... (read more)
Whether it’s better to go with the app or a browser website for dating is a matter of type. Zombies constantly diddling with their phones will feel more at ease, if they have their potential partners on their phone with them. Office studs who always keep a dating tab open on their browsers on the other hand can discretely check if they have any new partner proposals while working.
Fortunately, with most providers you no longer have to decide between using a website or a mobile app. Almost all online dating services that don’t offer an app, have a “responsive” design, which facilitates viewing on a smartphone. On the other hand, there are very few dating apps that are exclusively... (read more)
Online dating as the name indicates, takes place on the internet, so of course there are ways of doing it for free. However, there are several reasons to not do so:
If the product doesn’t cost anything, you are the product. This motto of online business means that you will somehow have to pay even for services and products that don’t cost any money. With free dating services you either have to put up with advertisement or accept that your own data is being traded.
You get what you pay for. This applies not only to the quality of the free online dating service, but mainly the attitudes of the singles that use them. When use and registration is free, many more carelessly... (read more)
There are virtually no online dating site, dating service or flirting site that doesn’t advertise by using the word “free”. Even so, very few providers are actually completely free of charge. Are we dealing with scandalous and widespread false advertising?
Yes and no! The companies only promise “free registration”, “free application” or “free trial”. Anyone who can read has a clear advantage, because depending on the provider usually clues are hidden, that hint at the cost of a premium membership, which is needed to read and write messages. In contrast, the few online dating sites that are free without any restrictions advertise with “completely free”, “100% free” or “permanently free”, “... (read more)
You could easily fill countless pages, entire books and even shelves with guides for a perfect online dating profile. To not go overboard, we will limit ourselves to the three most important tips:
Honesty
Of course profiles of pretty young women are particularily popular and successful. That won’t do you much good though, if you’re a burly guy in his prime. Or an older, not quite as pretty woman. Stick to the truth in at least broad terms and at most embellish yourself with ellipsis and euphemisms. On your first date at the latest, the truth will come out.
Completion
In online dating, there is no room for gaps. Fill out your profile as completely as possible. The more... (read more)
Where bona fide singles are hoping for the love of their life, usually scammers are also found, preying on their hopes. Fortunately fakes are usually not difficult to unmask. Pay attention to the following tips to distinguish fakes from genuine singles:
Read the terms and conditions of any online dating site before registering. Some providers use fake profiles (so called entertainers), to keep the paying customers happy.
If a profile is too good to be true, it probably isn’t true.
If an unbelievably beautiful woman (yes fakes profiles are almost always female) seems to fall madly in love suspiciously quick and initiates contact aggressively, then you should be on alert... (read more)
During dating, as so often in life, you only notice the failures, when you’re right in the middle of them. Only in retrospective do we recognize that bad luck and mishaps are all part of the search and forget about the pain, disappointment and despair, while every wayward date makes for an amusing anecdote. It’s not so much about avoiding mistakes while dating, but to not be discouraged by them. Learn from your mistakes, don’t keep repeating the same mistakes and be self-critical enough to question your own expectations, demands and obsessions. And always remember: Even the happiest couples in the world had to go on a few bad dates till they found each other.
It’s very tempting to treat an online dating site like an online shop. Simply set all filters so that only the right person remains, add to cart, proceed to checkout and you’re all set for love. In fact, online dating is but an opportunity to deviate from familiar paths. On the internet you have a chance to get out of your box and meet people you just wouldn’t ever come across in real life. It is therefore appropriate to initially set your criteria as wide as possible first and then to narrow it down gradually as needed. It would be a pity if you excluded a potential match from the get go, because he’s a few inches too short, a few pounds too heavy or a few years too old.
Men are struggling with one fundamental problem in online dating. Our society has taught them that they can have anything they want. Hollywood movies and prime-time shows have taught them that they need to covet a woman just enough to conquer them. And then after registering, they are confronted with reality: women have the upper hand here. Demanding female singles are picky when online dating and aren’t willing to throw themselves at the male that yells the loudest.
The times when single women were forced sooner or later, to marry some man to not end up an old maid are long gone. That’s why men have to actually try, on the other hand they can’t just surround themselves with the typical... (read more)
Feminism, equality and woman power here or there – during courtship, most people still subscribe to the old gender roles. Men make the first move, although women may bat their eyelashes encouragingly, but shouldn’t advertise too directly for a man. Contrary to dating in the wild, women can take the initiative in online dating much easier. And they should, after all, not being forced to leave the search for a partner up to chance is one of the biggest advantages of online dating. If women just sit around like a wallflower in this brave new internet world, they only have themselves to blame.
Of course there is no perfect profile photo for online dating and no infallible list of factors that ensure the picture is a hit. But there are some rules of thumb, to which one should adhere strictly – and a few that might prove helpful. Everything else is – like so much with love – a matter of preference.
The worst profile photo fails are prevented by the terms of use on most dating sites. They prohibit for example, profile pictures in which more than one person is to be seen, or ones in which no face is recognizable, nude photos, and pictures with children. Where such requirements exist, one must of course abide by them, but even if they don’t, these rules are sensible and... (read more)
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder… The beauty of online profile pictures does as well, because depending on how and where he or she looks at it, makes it appear completely different. Some things of course will depend on personal preferences, but in some aspects, you should customize the profile photo for the platform.
In a dating app that is primarily or exclusively mobile, you should, for example, ensure that the profile picture is still clearly visible even in a small size. Ideal is a close up of the face, with a quiet background, but an eye-catching splash of color that distinguishes your image and makes it stand out. Beware of supposedly original photos that try too hard to... (read more)
Actually, it should be much easier to write an online dating message than to talk to someone at a bar. After all, you’re sitting alone at home in front of your computer and just punch in a few keys without any hassle. And still you get inside of your own head: on the other side of the line is a person you like, someone who should read the message and hopefully likes you back. Phew, so, what to write?
Quite simple: Not too much, not too little. Not too serious, not too shallow. Not too personal and not too superficial. And above all else: Respectfully and honestly assure that you are really interested and want to learn more about the other person.
Online dating is all well and good, but ultimately online is just a means to an end, namely to date online. How and when do I transition from one to another?
There is no general rule, since a lot of it depends on the platform (at a flirt app you tend to arrange a meeting quicker than on a matchmaking site), much of it depends on the partner (younger singles arrange a meeting sooner, single mothers who aren’t in quite the same hurry as college students, who are new in the city and are looking to meet people anyways) and sometimes a first date will succumb to circumstances (if both parties live in different cities or have to work a lot and have little free time).
Regardless of... (read more)
Back in the day in online dating, the first phone call before the first date was an integral part of the ritual. Back then, phone calls were part of everyday life (landlines! Rotary phones! Payphones! Answering machines!). Today we talk on the phone less and less and younger people feel downright uncomfortable calling somebody. Therefore, you shouldn’t call under any circumstances prior to your date, if you’re not accustomed to making calls to friends and acquaintances. Maybe you can instead use skype, whatsapp or whatever you like best before meeting. If you’re quite used to making calls, then grab for the phone! Either way, it’s only a communicative intermediate step on the way to a first... (read more)
Online dating often creates a sort of pseudo intimacy, where you feel like you know each other relatively well, maybe are even a teeny tiny bit in love, but are still dealing with a stranger that could turn out to be a freak on the first date. Should you hand such a person without a second thought your cell phone number? Or is it better to wait?
The safe thing is, of course, that all communication goes through the anonymized messaging system of the dating site. On the other hand, the entire purpose of online dating, is to open yourself up to another human being and in the long run to even fall in love and to share your life with him/her. There it seems somewhat paranoid to conceal your own... (read more)
Where the first date takes place can contribute much to a happy ending of an online dating love story. Of course, the choice depends on the preferences of the partners, but a few guidelines can help you find the right place.
Regardless whether online flirt, casual date or potentially true love: a stranger, whom you only know from the internet, should only be met in a public place and (not to exclude a subsequent change of scenery as mutual decision) never in your own home or in a remote location.
It’s advisable to plan an activity that is fun for both. That way there is distraction if the conversation falls a little flat or the date is a bust, at least you’ve had a nice... (read more)